My marriage is 12 years old, I love my husband and 3 kids so much, but I recently got bored of the marriage and fell in love with another man, a widower. Even though I tried not to hurt my family and stay with them, I can’t help loving this new man, I feel lost and sad in my home that I sometimes feel like killing myself while I’m always happy and full of life when I’m with this other man. Tolu, please what do I do, I’m loosing my mind, should I go with this man for the sake of my happiness or stay back and remain unhappy?
Many marriages have lost the wine. It’s as if the spark is no longer there, those things that get you attracted when you said I do seems not to be clear anymore. The butterfly in your stomach seems not to be leaping anymore and it’s as if marriage is more of stress than peaceful. The truth is, all those excitements will mellow down after some time. Of course, you still love your spouse but things aren't as exciting as when you first met and in fact, things can become pretty boring. With the routines and chores of daily life, there is little room for excitement and romance, but this article discusses 10 important tips for spicing up a boring marriage.
- Spend time together -One
of the most important ways to spice up your marriage is make sure you have
enough time to spend with him or her. If they never see you, how can they
become excited and happy about your marriage? Make a commitment to spend
an hour a day with your spouse. Enjoy your spouse company, you can show
interest in each other’s hobby so you can make good use of the time spent
together.
- Impress Him or Her
– You always want to prove how much he/she meant to you by surprising her
when you first started. You may have opened the door for your spouse,
cooked him or her something delicious or something else to let them know
you cared. Don’t sweep this under the carpet in your marriage, make it a
point of duty to do that as often as you can, a little effort to impress
has a lasting impact. Do something every week to impress your spouse.
- Surprise Your Spouse
- One of the greatest powers you can use to fight off boredom in your
marriage is surprising your spouse. For instance, send your spouse a gift
at work. If you're a man, get your wife some flowers and send them to work
where everyone can see her get them. Women love being the center of
attention every once in a while. As a woman you can decide to spoil him by
making what he always eat/drink outside e.g. pepper soup, isiewu with a
bottle of wine.
- Don't Forget to Be Naughty Once in a While - One important part of keeping your marriage spicy and
fun is your sex life. It's easy to fall into a boring routine when you
deal with all of life's necessary things each day. Be different. Text him
or her at work with exciting and fun messages and get him or her to look forward
to coming home! Be creative and have fun with this one. You will see the
difference in no time! Don’t get caught up with the usual missionary
style, change your style and have sex in crazy places,you can have sex in
the kitchen when the kiddies are not around
- Consider Your Appearance - Although it can sound shallow, anyone is proud to
have a fox for a husband or wife. Spend some extra time on your appearance
so that you look your best when the two of you go out. If you get a few
looks, it will only remind your spouse what a sexy husband or wife they
have!
- Take a Weekend Away -
Every once in a while, schedule some time for you and your spouse to get
away from it all. The pressures of work and daily life can get in the way
of an exciting marriage. Move them.
- Show Your Respect -
While you should not be subservient or giving in all ways, respect can go
a long way toward making your marriage better. Insults or demeaning
comments will only work to destroy your marriage. Think about the things
you say before you say them.
- Be a Romantic Fool -
This is a great tip for husbands but wives can do a great job as well.
Once in a while, do something utterly romantic for your spouse. Sing to
her in public, dance in the aisle of the grocery store or carry her into
the bedroom. Think about the things he or she likes and make it happen!
- Learn New Things -
When it comes to the bedroom activity, often times spouses take what they
can get between work, the kids, the house and the family. Learn something
new so you can impress your spouse the next time you get a few minutes!
Never underestimate what you can do in the 5 minutes you get before the
kids wake up in the morning!
- Remember to Say, "I Love You." - This is important! You assume your spouse
knows this, but saying it serves to reassure them and keep things going
great. Tell your spouse at least once a day that you love them. Be honest
with it and sincere so that there is something behind the words!
These are fantastic, it will help marriage a lot, thanks
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